Thursday, June 4, 2009

Reminder to myself

I just took a look at my status and realized that I was putting on other people the things I want to do for myself, among them taking responsibility for my own happiness. The minute I shift a sentence beginning from "I" to "You," I have abnegated that responsibility. That is a subtle semantic shift, but those can be killers for me if I am not careful. It keeps things "out there." It keeps me "other-directed" instead of "inner-directed." My friend Shane just blogged, among other things, about what I had vowed  about two weeks ago: "My box for other people's shit is now closed." I added that from this point on, the first put-down, the first hint of "you are less than I am," the first suggestion that someone's negative energy is affecting me, and I am outta here. I am a nice person. I always thought that that meant giving people the benefit of the doubt and giving second--sometimes even third--chances. Well, wrong, Anne. My boundaries have been fuzzy or non-existentent or most glaringly--inherited-- not established for my own health, but for other peep's convenience and to make other peeps feel good about themselves. In other words, I enabled. I am done with that. I know that there will be tests in the future to make sure I am done. But the Universe has an insurance policy: Once I have done it, I never have to come back and do that one again. Surely that is the best incentive to make 2009 the healthiest and happiest ever. And so it is...

No comments:

Post a Comment